So, in my previous post, I spoke about bravery. My brave act since that post has been to apply for Graduate school. Can I just say how utterly terrifying that is?
Even though I’ve wanted to pursue a Masters degree for years now, I only just now, two years post undergrad, applied. It was a huge step for me, and it turned out to be an outlet for using that voice I’m trying to develop.
Part of the hesitation came from people trying to talk me into what I should study, suggesting I pursue something more practical and more promising in the way of careers. It made sense, but each time I tried to apply for something like a Masters in Library Science, or business, or teaching, I would feel this sinking dread.
The problem with that is that while I would enjoy studying almost anything (I’m nerdy like that), my only true passion, the only thing I have ever actively wanted to do is write. I knew deep down that if I didn’t listen to that desire, I would never really be happy. I finally did what I wanted. I chose for myself and followed my gut.
I have officially applied for enrollment with Southern New Hampshire University online to pursue a Masters of Fine Arts in Creative Writing Fiction.
I can honestly say I’m excited, but as I wait for my official acceptance, I’m holding my breath a little bit. There’s a little voice in the back of my mind trying to tell me it’s too good to be true, and that I won’t get in, but even if this school falls through, I’m determined to find a way to make this happen.
Part of the requirements of my application was to submit a personal statement explaining why I want to pursue this particular field of study, and it proved to be a more difficult thing to share with strangers than I thought. I’ll share that paper with the blog in my next post, because I think it’s important and it reinforces the point of my post two weeks ago regarding that voice we all need to develop. It was an exercise in speaking out and share a part of myself that I would normally keep hidden and safely tucked away.
This blog has already become a cathartic experience for me, and I hope that sharing my struggles and thought process helps someone out there feel better.